Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Beating myself up for the end of the year

The beginning of a new year is fast approaching and it's time for me to start looking back over this one. There's no need for me to look back over this blog to see what I did or didn't do, I just have to look around me.
A few things were begun but very few of them amounted to anything. The sketch book has laid untouched for a couple of months, the idea of painting didn't get any further than two barely started picture, drawing in general was a wash out. As far as 2004 goes art wise I can't look back on it with pride.
I had hoped to have my own website up and running but after laying it out on paper I got distracted by other things and it ended up being forgotten.
One of my interests of the past six or seven years has been keeping fit and this year saw me at my worst. The main reason for this was a torn muscle which it seems will be a constant source of irritation and occassional pain for a long time. But a fair chunk of the blame rests on my ever weakening shoulders. I'm not in terrible shape at the moment but I've flucuated quite a bit during 04, putting on and losing weight every couple of months. One problem was that once I stopped exercising I stopped eating carefully, when I give up I like to give up all the way.
Saving money has not gone well, some things needed to be bought, a lot of the stuff I could have done without.
Being fairly untidy and scruffy I had hoped I could smarten up a little, only now and again it seems.
Talking too much is a bit of vice too, once I start I can ramble on for ages without ever coming close to saying anything worthwhile. It's not just quantity it's quality, what I lack in one I overcompensate with the other. That's not improved.
That was the bad, but what about the good. Well, there was some.
Good was that even though I got more out of shape I had the sense to keep it under control.
Drawing may not have gone well but I completed my outside responsibilities even when it wasn't in my best interests. I also did manage to keep a sketchbook for a while, something which I've never really done before and not only did I enjoy it but I thought I did some good work.
For all the unfinished and never started projects I did manage to complete the one big one, Simian Smith the first draft, got done and I'm already working my way through the second draft. This one was a real struggle but in doing it I learned a lot.
Balancing it all up I don't think I did great this year, there's more in the minus column than the plus, but the plus column does have one big tick whereas the minuses are mainly small crosses. A lot of my resolutions will be repeats of last years but that was the same as the year before and the one before that, that may sound bad, like I've failed every year, but the truth is that each year has seen me improve a little and in some cases a lot and you can't say fairer than that.

No comments: